love hurts,

things get tough often don't they? you know.. lately i think i've thought about a lot of things and of course it has to do with him..as usual. i think my feelings has grown.. i feel that i think i do love him. i don't know, i'm like so attached to him. it's like we spend the most time together as possible, we're always together. i think i do love him, i'm starting to feel that way. my love for him causes me to be selfish but yet i will stop myself from this selfishness.
handball tryouts tomorrow, he's going. he knows he's going to get in and i believe i do too. so what happens then? all it will be is, school, handball, handball, handball, then me. He said:
" you don't mind me trying out do you?"
& i : " i don't mind, why would i. "
him : " b/c we will be spending less time together"
me: " well then i guess we're gonna have to get used to it,"
i lied, i do mind.. alot. just thinking about it makes me cry and my heart ache. i don't know, i see him too much and if all of a sudden things change and not just a small change but a big one.. i will break down. & i'm definitely not going to be selfish and tell him how i feel .. especially right now because that will make him feel guilty. he's already changed a 2-9 for me, i can't be more selfish than i am already. this time, i'm just going to have to deal with it. what happens when things change because of time? what will i do then? i remember how i felt when he had a 3-11 schedule.. i was dead inside and feeling lonely without him by my side and i was only happy when i saw him and talked to him. then when he changed it to 2-9, i was so happy.. like a sign of relief and happiness. but now, this over here.. once he gets in.. it's on for two more years. can i make it thro this path? can we? you tell me ..