Day 1.

We're on a break and today was the first day. All i saw was the back of his head today..and accidentally texted him something he shouldn't have read. I don't know what to say. I thought it'll be just like that time when we didn't talk for days. But it's not..it's so different. Wasn't I the one who took him back? Wasn't he the one that wanted another chance? Why is he the one leaving now? Why do I have to wait.. hopelessly wait til he's made up his mind. Everyday, I'd be afraid that I can lose him. I think today would have been a tremendous day, but because of this.. it really isn't. I got into AP environmental, I was happy and proud that I got in because the seats were limited and it was pretty hard to get in..the first person I wanted to text and tell was him. But I couldn't. Things aren't the same anymore, I want to talk to him but it won't work. I want to see him but it won't end up good. I'd just want to break into tears. I wonder how he's feeling right now? How did a day without me go? How does he feel? Is he good? Is he chilled? Is he better than usual? Did I come across him mind? I guess that's a question that I'll never get an answer to. I miss him.. a lot. But I really want to know, if I still want to be with him because I still like him like i did or is it that I'm just so used to him being with me. I really need to get that clear.