reminsce.

blah, i hate thinking back. it makes my heart ache all over again... i don't know why.. those images just come to my head out of no where. i can never stand thinking of it , it scares me, disgusts me .. makes me shiver. it hurts too .. was it that big of an impact for it to do so much after all this time has passed? i don't know , sometimes i wanna tell him i still think of it and that it still makes me tear, but i don't kno how to start .. its wierd to bring back up such a terrible topic. i bet i'd end up crying talking about it as well. i'm such a weak girl.. been through so much , still so weak ; why?
why do i still think of it so much? it's the past.. it's been like a good four or five months; things changed so much because of it. it's brought me & him change, in a good way as well, not a bad. but it still scares me & i always always have the image of it in my head.. i dont know why. i just do. i can always picture things when he's involved with it. is that a good thing or a bad thing? i dont know , it's scary .. it hurts. :x