disappointment.

it's 10 PM, i've been waiting since 5PM for your text/call. Do you know that I'm mad? How come you didn't call or text me.. just because I don't you don't as well? i don't know what you're doing right now but i think your sleeping by now.. did you even think of me on your way home? wondering how come i didn't text you? did you? I wanted to talk things out .. but i guess we aren't going to because you've forgotten or probably haven't even noticed. how nice.
so what's going to happen tomorrow in school? am i suppose to play it cool & forget about it? .. again, like i always do. or am i suppose to show you & hint to you that i'm mad? but what's the point, its sunny & going to be in the 60s tomorrow, you're going handball anyways. what's the point of telling you or starting a talk if it's going to last for 10-20 minutes? i rather just leave it. am i being selfish or are you? do you care how you make me feel? because it kind of doesn't seem like you do. you just leave me when you get to the park, tell me not to text you in the middle of the night. what if i needed you?
i know i don't need to spend my whole life with you, that not everything revolves around you. i know there are times when i go do my own thing and you do as well. i understand that & i've realized that handball is important to you. I completely understand that but can i not get a little bit of consideration? it's like when you get to the handball courts.. i'm not in your life no more. I feel that i kind of bascially put you as my first priority. even when i'm out & we're texting i check my phone so often waiting for your text. but you? when your out .. it takes ages for your reply. & it's not really that big of a deal. but sometimes it hurts. i feel that you're only talking to me then because you weren't doing anything, when you get to a park, you stop texting me without even a bye. When we were on the phone & you got to the park & met up with others, you probably forgot i was on the phone with you. I beleive i heard you screaming and fighting for next with them & then you think i'm ignoring you when i was waiting for your attention.
you really have no idea sometimes do you? when i'm mad or pissed i start saying "mhm" , "okay", "yeah" and I'd expect you to say something but the funny thing is you'd say exactly the same back to me. it pisses me off even more but yet it makes me laugh about it. i really want to know what's on your mind. how you feel now a days, how much do you even care for me now a days. most important, how much do you love/like me.. i'm really curious.